Lost Amid the Noise (A true story of the lostness of self in the teen years)

(NOTE: This is an illustration from Lesson #2 of my book "STORIES," which is a book designed for dads to enable them in bringing their children to Christ through their own stories as they share the Gospel Story.)

I was a Chameleon.

Finding out that I was a Chameleon was not a proud moment.

A Chameleon is a lizard who often changes colors according to the environment he’s put in. I often won  Chameleon’s at Fairs in the 50’s. These Fair prizes were given to those who threw darts well at balloons, or could toss rings around bottles, or could land on a lucky numbers when the music stopped. The Chameleon’s had little gold chains around their necks with little gold leashes with a safety pen at the end, once one the prize giver would pin the Chameleon to your shirt, where you could watch him turn color to match your shirt.
I don’t ever remember one dying on me, but neither do I remember them lasting over a week at home. I loved Chameleon’s because they were so cool, and they announced to all who could see me that I was a winner. But in my wildest dreams I never imagined that I would turn into one.

I was a good, fun loving kid who had a great, fun family and a lot of cool friends. Life was full of laughter and playing, that is, until I got into Jr. High School, it was there that I began to change my colors, and often. At about the age of thirteen I’d began the natural separation from my parent’s all watching eye, it was at this age that bad ideas and bad people started having an influence on me. New people put new, risky opportunities in front of me. At thirteen some cool guys taught me to smoke (a habit I wouldn’t kick for twenty years), a year later they taught me to steal from stores, as well as drink. My grades started falling as my lying to my parents increased; I started getting in trouble at school, as well as with the police.

As a Chameleon I adopted my friend’s thoughts, ideas and habits. I had no identity of my own; I became the type of person I was with, I changing colors and thoughts with no thought to the consequences.  It wasn’t just the trouble that caused me trouble, it was being lost amid all the noise my friends where making. I no longer heard my parents voices when were separated by school and work, we entered a different and sad world my parents and I, I missed them, but this was my new life, they worked, I went to school, I walked home with new influences who afforded me way too many chances at being bad, because I wanted to fit in and be popular, I became a Chameleon who was attached by an invisible chain to the social shirts of my friends. Whoever I hung around with was who I acted most like; the need to fit in with other teens is such an overwhelming pull that not even great family home life doesn’t seem to squash. 

Now all of a sudden in just a few short months I was having trouble with teachers and others in authority,’ fights with other kids, ditching school, not doing homework, which would lead in a few years to arrests, jail, drinking, and even drugs. My new social life even had prison and death as doorways into a, alien world previously unknown, once good friends had now become sellers of drugs, and a few got sent to prison, while three were killed because of drinking, drugs.

Every father, I think, re-visits his own boyhood when he plays with his son. And by the same token, every small boy shares his father’s passions, until puberty interposes the desire to break free, this breaking free has a false face, when a young person breaks free he begins to discover things he thinks his parent never knew. When everything is new to a young person they awesome it must be new, and it seems to him that the newness of experiences is worth the loss of his parents approval, and it is through this loss that a more serious loss occurs, the lostness of self. In our teen years we all sadly become Chameleons, changing ourselves to match our social surroundings, and giving ourselves away under the intoxication of all things new and lustful. Doing homework, chores, going to movies with our parents and playing ball with them suddenly become oppressive in comparison to the freedoms that independence brings.

The terrible thing about teenage freedom is that many of its excesses bring a sort of death, a deadness of the soul, and in some cases a life time death sentence through habits too strong to break. A great emptiness filled my soul, but I couldn’t find a way out, the social pull was too strong and too powerful, being important and included was more important than being a good person, I was lost with no interior compass. I was a Chameleon with no chain to anchor me, these friends started drifting away, people I gave my life away for now became invisible, no one really cared for me, they just cared to have chaotic fun, in an instant it seemed I was alone, with a wasted past and no future, no friends, no goals, everything vanished. I felt like I was naked and thrown out on the street to make my own way in life.

When I was a teenager I didn’t know Christ, my parents didn’t know Christ, nor in fact did I ever know a single teenage person who knew Christ. Freedom and independence was our teenage religion, while chaos and bad habits became our spiritual clothes. A question I asked myself, almost too late, was how did a good kid become so troubled and lost, and why after so many years of folly did I escape, when so many of my friends didn’t.

It wasn’t until Jesus Christ came into my life that I found myself and was able to stop all the chaos and madness that being a Chameleon brought into my life. It was through God that I found my moral compass, my inner being and my direction in life. It was at this time that I was able to stop all the noise the crowd was making, and when I did I heard God, it was this great moment that I stopped being a Chameleon and became Dick Worthington, child of God. My inner voice which naturally knew good from bad, was lost at thirteen and stayed lost until I was thirty, which was hampered by the teen social noise.  

I wouldn't gain my inner voice back until I'd been married and had three children. This was my life's dividing line, before Christ I was a Chameleon hoping that the next person I became attached to would make me whole and happy, it wouldn't be until Christ that I was able to find the "me" that God had created me to be.

We are all created special, but it isn't until we become like Christ that we'll ever realize it.  

“STORIES”

·         Dad, share about your teenage years, where you ever a Chameleon, if so explain how it happened and how it affected you.

·         Youth, share if you have ever felt like a Chameleon, what are the influences out there that you face every day?

·         Discuss the following verses as they relate to God’s desire for our present and future lives as it relates to us being held captive by Chameleoness: “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity. Jeremiah 29:11-14